I have a love/not-so-love relationship with technology.
There are times when I feel like I couldn’t possibly live without my iPhone. When my husband is on the road or in the studio, text messaging connects us in an instant. When the kids are sobbing because they want him home right this very minute, FaceTime comes to the rescue. The fact that he can video chat with my kids while zooming down I-95 in New York when we are out here in California still amazes me. And it makes the touring years just a little bit easier.
But there are also times when I feel like shoving my beloved iPhone in the trash can and leaving it there. My freelance writing forces me to stay connected far more than this introverted soul would ever care to. The distance from my family means all communication comes in the form of phone calls, text messages, and maybe a joke or two on Facebook. Ring…ding…ping. I despise the sounds of my phone and have silenced everyone but my husband at this point (it’s not you; it’s me).
Love it or not-so-love it, it’s here to stay. And if current trends in education are any indicator, it will only become more prevalent. But that doesn’t mean that we have to let it distract us. We don’t have to let the constant sounds and interactions blur our experiences in the real world. We don’t have to let distraction become the new norm.
Have you ever felt so glued to your virtual existence that you started to miss the beauty of the everyday? You’re not alone – we’ve all had those moments at some point.
Rachel Macy Stafford had one of those moments (and then some), and, with what can only be described as raw bravery, wrote it all down. In her new book, “Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters”, Stafford describes (in heartbreaking detail) her journey from a a distracted plugged in (and somewhat anxious) mom to a more calm and present mom. The transformation is incredible.
Drawing on her personal experience, Stafford helps the reader learn how to find a better balance and live in the present while meeting personal goals. It’s not about simply pulling the plug and giving it all up, it’s about learning to live with intention and learning to let go of unwanted (and unnecessary) distraction.
What is striking about Stafford’s journey is her brutal honesty, “Sometimes I don’t look away from my computer screen when my child enters the room. Sometimes I pick up my children from extracurricular events or school while talking on the phone. Sometimes the first thing my child sees in the morning is not my smiling face, but the top of my head as I send email messages or the back of my head as I watch the morning news.” It’s not easy to confront those feelings, and it certainly isn’t easy to put them in writing.
In the beginning of the book, Stafford describes in great detail a sunset that she happened to catch while driving home from work one evening. The sadness that she felt as she left her office that day was replaced with a feeling of hope as the sky opened up in front of her – the beautiful colors of the sunset restored her broken soul. That particular sunset stayed with her for years to come, and she encourages readers to look for “Sunset Moments” in their own lives.
Stafford is keenly aware that it was pure chance that allowed her to witness that sunset on that particular evening, “By the grace of God, I was fully present and able to witness a once-in-a-lifetime Sunset Moment. Because, truth be told, this extraordinary sight would have happened whether or not I’d taken the time to watch.” And that is the key to appreciating life’s Sunset Moments: Being present enough to take them in.
Providing a “Hands Free Weekly Intention” in each chapter, “Hands Free Mama” helps parents become less distracted and more present one small step at a time. You’ll find inspiration in her stories and learn to let go of your own distractions as you work your way through her tips.
This book will change you, that much I can promise. Whether you work through each tip week-by-week or revisit the nuggets of truth that grab your soul when you need to re-set, “Hands Free Mama” will help you refocus your energy on what really matters.
Buy your copy of “Hands Free Mama” on Amazon or at Barnes & Noble today, and be sure to check out her incredible Facebook community - where you can connect with other parents seeking a less distracted existence. You can also follow Stafford’s blog for added inspiration.
Now get out there and catch a Sunset Moment!
